Wednesday, May 12, 2010
I'M ALIVE :DI'm actually still alive after Physics exam.I thought I might have died mid paper.Hmm.
I am completely,completely exhausted,which means I am essentially braindead,and am falling asleep as I type.Retarded.I'm also completely happy,cause' PHYSICS IS OVER :DD
I've been through 2 essential papers,hired as an illegal OM painter,abducted by a Marissa,discovered a scandal (MARS),observed the behaviour of the rare Speckled Marissa,ate lunch at Taka,bought macarons,took artistic photos of macarons,ate macaron,bought magazine,went to Jurong,accidentally squashed remaining 2 macarons (so I ate them all.TEEHEE.),did community service,and I have fulfilled my goals for the day.
Sometimes,I really don't think I belong with Mars and Miku and Yingbi and S-Ann.Mars and Miku are the smart people,and Yingbi and SaraAnn just go together.Yet again,I find myself in a mindless situation trying to appeal to Miku's better nature,pleasing everybody I can,fretting over marks,checking my phone for his SMS,feeling depressed and lonely,having less and less appetite,getting less and less sleep,waking up in the wee hours of the morning only to find myself crying;the guilt,the pain,the sadness of it all.I'm scared of being alone.I don't want to be alone.I'm sad and angry,but I know,deep in my heart,that I'm scared that I'll lose the sense of belonging,however much I have to pretend and fake and cry to get it,that I always wanted.
I just want to be accepted.I just want to laugh and frolick and study and live the normal life of an RGS girl.I don't belong here;never can,never will.I don't have the ability to live like this,so I'll just have to hold it all in my heart,and put on a happy smile for everyone to see.You have to act sometimes,y'know?
On a much,much lighter note,you can always shoo and follow me on Twitter :DD
http://twitter.com/thejennwuzhereAnd go suscribe to The Jenaha Show :DD That'll make me REALLY happy.
http://www.youtube.com/user/JenahaWuzHereI promised myself,no more emo posts,but...that's impossible.What kind of lunatic does that?!
Oh,right,me.
Jenn(aha)
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4:33 AM
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